Early Blossoms

This is Spring.

It is easy to fall into their habits...up at 1 or 3 am, a cigarette and some coffee for me, of course, and some high calorie, goat milk infused formula that sets like concrete, for them. Only God knows what it's doing to their stomachs, but it comes out looking....never mind. And it does set like concrete onto everything it touches, particularly their fur. I hate that the picture is taken with the bars of their cage, but free, they 'run for the hills' as we say in this corner of the world, and taking a picture is the last thing I can do.

For me? I can't figure out if my shrink is hinting that it's time we parted ways, or if he is just being arbitrary, as is his habit. I don't think changing one of the anti-Evil pills after a decade of use, is being precipitous but he does. When I am depressed as I am, after the winter we have had, I would hold his mother for ransom for a new anti-depressant.

The Circle of Love that is my support group is wonderful. They, too, live real lives, and have problems just as anyone does. Sometimes, if the force is truly aligned, I get to listen to their troubles and offer my love, which surely does much more for me than feeling as if I am a burden. That is not how they make me feel, by the way, it is simply one of the effects of having a mental health diagnoses...

But, more than usual, I feel in balance. I know I am slightly manic right now. It's a wonderful state to be in, when I realize it and take safeguards. I feel as if I should have more to bitch about today, but I don't. Today is not even started in this time zone, yet...I know the stars are out. The sky is clear and I am sure I can spot the Huntsman, if I go outside. But why wander outside, when the outside has come in for a while, in the form of one homogenous mass with ten legs?

The pool is still the Pond, with no frogs yet. Green as the grass in Scotland, and no end in sight. Work will have to be started on it soon. But my eyes drift to the pots for the geraniums...my Mother always had geraniums on her deck that were as red as a matador's cape. And I would like to do something with the owner's front bed...cukes? Onions? Bell pepper?

With the slow winter passing, I notice the grass is getting longer, and greener, not soon enough. I crave azaleas, and pink roses, and zinnia, and lavender. I don't crave weeding, but it has to be done. I want dried flowers this year: the hydrangea, zinnia and lavender. It's not time for flowers yet...and the nights are too cold to chance planting now. The pink tulip tree blossoms have died from the snow. But there are some marvelous blooms, early, in the next room.