So Many Springs

It's still cold outside, when I take the dog out. The wind blows, and blows, and blows. We are deep in the heart of Spring, in this small corner of the world. Even Rat Cat hesitates to go out...those cupped ears catch the wind too well. And everyone moans and complains, as if we were stuck in Laura Ingalls Wilder's The Long, Dark, Cold, Harsh, Incredibly Long, We May Have To Eat Carrie, Winter. 

The sky was blue yesterday, with gale force winds to keep the chill up. I particularly love the feel of the wind on my skin, and in my hair. I am just not used to living in a mini-Chicago: I saw a full grown St. Bernard lifted off of his feet yesterday, and whip past, with his human holding tightly onto the leash. Max manages to keep himself on the ground by the fact that he is so close to it. While muscular and strong, he is quite the 'low rider,' and so he is an unnoticeable speed bump in the wind's path.

                                                       Max, in full 'speed bump' mode

And, like a friend I can't get rid of, my yearly sore throat has appeared, magically borne on the wind from the flowers and the thawing earth. I remember distinctly thinking, yesterday, about the day, 'the tickle' disappeared, along with the last day of cleaning the pool, and the last day of mowing the lawn. I remember the last fall twilight. I watched the stars rise, I had shorts on. I remember swimming on the last night I swam, the last time the pool was so warm, and the wind not so much, anymore. It was an incredible feeling, to be rocked by the dark, warm water and look up at the summer night, with the stars hung low, in the twilight fading, fading.

These memories survive. Others fade too quickly, whipped by the wind of bipolar change. But the feeling that I stand on the edge of summer, at the beginning of twilight, has never changed. It comes easily in the spring, the memory of the last days of summer.

Today is my brother, Marc's birthday! It's so cold that I had forgotten!