Share and Enjoy*

It's hard to wake and have to call my therapist in the morning. Some stress relief, in the form of tears and bad dreams hit me last night, and I am still trying to figure it all out. After all, it was a very happy day, being what would have been Douglas Adams 61st birthday, and recognized by Google and various pages on Facebook and whatnot.

It's almost, but not quite, like it's not Spring. Usually I save my crying jags for the middle of winter, or for the consumption of too much caffeine (every day), or lack of sleep (doesn't happen). But this has set in out of nowhere, and right as I plan to change my winter clothes out for my cheerful summer clothes...

But I have not, as they say, been med compliant, and so should expect something like this. All that means is I haven't been taking the anti-Evil pill as I should, and some mood yo-yo is what I get for not following my psychiatrist's directions. On the other hand, in the spirit of Douglas Adams, why my doctors think I am going to lay down and take everything they give me, exactly as prescribed, is beyond me. Share and Enjoy.*

I bet they wouldn't.

But instead of "I should" on myself today, I am just going to let myself feel what I will feel, and let it go at that. Everyone has down days and a very wise man told me one time: "Everyone has nights where they lie awake at night and think over their regrets..."  My therapist is going to tell me the same thing...feel what I will, and do something to cheer myself along.

At the moment, it's writing to you, and the scent of the lilac candle on my bedside table, and Ratty and Max relaxing on the bed...I'm facing the hurdles of bathing and pill-taking at 8 am, but won't think of them now that I am here with you.

The skies are darker in the mornings now that the time has changed, and that suits me just as well. It might rain today and that is acceptable, too. It will be a Spring rain, with not too much cold in it. It's softening the flower and vegetable beds up for planting, and I can dream some more about flowers.

*Douglas Adams