Emotion Mind

So I go off my meds for 6 days, and it's a total disaster. I don't rail at myself for doing it, although I shouldn't have done it. It's the simple desire to be "normal" again. To live without pills and constant and unending appointments and group.

It's about facing reality everyday, in every decision I make. It's real. It's fear.

It's about the look on someone's face when they realize, "This woman is a bit off." It's wanting to tell them up front, what they are in for, when I form friendships. It's about not scaring them to death up front.

In my case, it's about having irreparable brain damage. I was injured in a car accident. The frontal lobe, that governs judgement, is severely damaged...

I had a dream last night about my old therapist. He was smiling wisely, and it was a joy to see him.

It's about having Emotion Mind, the condition of having no reasoning skills on board at the moment. Reason Mind is not acknowledging feelings, and not being in contact with myself. Wise Mind is the best of both worlds...to know and care for myself, and behave responsibly toward others.

It's weariness about having symptoms: I will turn to Wikipedia for that.

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) (called emotionally unstable personality disorder, borderline type in the ICD-10) is a personality disorder characterized by unusual variability and depth of moods.^[1] These moods may secondarily affect cognition and interpersonal relationships.^{[n 1]}

Other symptoms of BPD include impulsive behavior, intense and unstable interpersonal relationships, unstable self-image, feelings of abandonment and an unstable sense of self.^[2] People with BPD often engage in idealization and devaluation of themselves and of others, alternating between high positive regard and heavy disappointment or dislike.^[3] Self-harm and suicidal behavior are common and may require inpatient psychiatric care.