This is how PTSD and Bipolar work...some loving friends recreated a scene from my life yesterday. I am humbled and grateful that they took the trouble. It was a scene that really took place, and ended up with a friend being estranged. She is a dear friend, and I deeply regret , and did not remember, what I had said to hurt my friend's feelings.
These are the blank spots in my mind, and they are frightening, of short duration, and a result of something I have no control over, which is no excuse.
The recreation of the scene brought up the desired memory. It is 6 a.m and I am stuck with it., and she doesn't read my blog. My heart is full of hurt for my stupidity and my friend's hurt feelings. I try to convince myself that what I said wasn't so bad...but obviously, it was.
I do realize this happens everyday: I not only said something thoughtless, but was judgmental about it. At least that's what my memory tells me.
No comments:
Post a Comment